One
concept from the reading that I found interesting was from chapter ten about
victimization. Abigail’s definition of victimization from the textbook is that
it is the “feeling of being a victim that leads to a state of forgiveness”. The
example in the textbook is that a person was molested by a family friend and
never told their parents until the molester passed away. This is a serious
example where victimization is important. Although, there are some situations where
people can twist a story so that they appear to be the victim. They will
victimize themselves in certain situations to take blame of themselves or so
that they don’t feel guilty, etc. I have encountered people using victimization
to their advantage, or in the wrong way. It’s sad that people have to victimize
themselves for their benefit. There are so many situations like the textbook’s
example where victimization is completely necessary and true that need to be
treated with care.
I know someone who always plays the victim. It seems like every time there is an argument, or if something important needs to be done, this friend always comes up with excuses to have to do the least amount of work and benefit the most. It is almost to the point where all of our friends know we can't rely on him because he will always have an excuse or a reason not to be helpful. Unfortunately, our friend uses excuses that would be rude to question or in some circumstances the situations aren't deemed socially acceptable to ask questions about.
ReplyDeleteI nearly wrote about victimization in my post too. The definition you provided from the book pulled a little bit too much from the sentence. Victimization is just the feeling of being a victim - it’s our ability to move beyond that which leads to a state of forgiveness. I was puzzled for a moment when I read that in your post so I went back to the text to sort it out.
ReplyDeleteThe type of victimization you talk about when you describe people twisting the story to be seen as victims is what I consider a martyr complex. These people are always working an angle when they talk about their victimization. It’s very manipulative and is often paired with large amounts of guilt to get people to do what they want.
As you say, there are many cases, such as the molestation described in the book that are true cases of being a victim. Calling it necessary strikes me as odd, I think instead that it’s merely a factual thing. As a victim of sexual assault myself, I can say how important it is to pull away from the victim mentality. The book says that it’s necessary in order to forgive and I agree.