Week 5 - Post 3

            After fully reading chapter 4 a few times, I think the most interesting, and probably most important piece of information is the I-statements. The textbook’s authors define I-statements as one of the most important skills in conflict that “personalize the conflict by owning up to our feelings rather than to make them the responsibility of the other person”. It’s a very simple tool to use in a conflict, you simply say everything with “I”, such as “I feel…”, “I think…”, “I would like…”, etc. It takes the blame and pressure for more problems out of the other person and gives off a calming vibe. If these I-statements are used when two people are trying to sort out or resolve a problem, it won’t take very long. Not only do these I-statements set a calming vibe, but they also show that you care about resolving a conflict because you are not putting blame on the other person.  

Week 5 - Post 2

            What I’m thinking when others talk always depends on if I have taken the time to “stop” and take myself away from the situation for a minute. If I did not take the time to remove myself, I revert back to how I would handle conflicts when I was younger, I would listen to the other person, but I wouldn’t really hear what they were saying. Their words just go in one ear and out the other. This is what makes that stopping time very crucial. If I have taken the time to remove myself for a short time, I am able to really listen and actually hear what the other person is saying. I am always prepared to say how I feel and stick up for my opinion, but I am very ready to make an effort to understand where they are coming from. It always helps me to think that I would want them to understand where I’m coming from, so I always make the effort to recognize their views. 

Week 5 - Post 1

            After ready about what S-TLC is, I think that more people should know about it so that they are able to handle conflicts in a calm manner. The “S” is S-TLC stands for “stop”. The textbook describes stopping as taking a time out. There are 4 key points, or advice, for stopping: exiting temporarily, sipping a beverage, counting backwards from 100, or changing the problematic topic. Each one of those leads back to taking a time out, or taking your mind away from the situation at hand to regroup your thoughts. I think that taking a moment to regroup allows yourself to calm down and clear your head of a lot of negativity. I have become much better throughout my college years at “stopping”. Although it is difficult at times to follow this step, it is always worth it in the end because compromise and positive outcomes always follow. I prefer to exit temporarily and be alone for a few minutes to calm and collect my thoughts. After this “time out”, I’m also more able to calm the other person as well. “Stopping” is a very crucial part in conflict. 

Week 4 - Post 3

            A concept from chapter 11 that I found interesting was the Center for Mediation and Law at Harvard Law School’s approach to the role of the mediator. There are basically four guidelines that Harvard believes a mediator should comply with. Their first role of the mediator is that they should “develop a ‘subjective neutrality’ in which he or she honors the validity and truth of each person’s story without deciding who is right or wrong”. Second, mediators must maintain confidentiality, third, they need to be competent in communication, and lastly, they need to be trained to “facilitate communication by encouraging cooperation and discouraging competition between parties”. These four things are actually very relevant in holding a position in my sorority. I find that I need to be neutral when people have problems, keep their problems confidential, understand that people need to vent, but try to prevent bad-mouthing, and help to resolve issues. 

Week 4 - Post 2

            Instead of using techniques such as fractionation, framing, reframing, and common ground for solving problems that involve interpersonal conflicts, we can use those techniques for solving intrapersonal conflicts. Although it might sound a little strange to use those techniques for intrapersonal conflict, which relates to the individual self or mind as opposed to interpersonal, or between persons, it can definitely be applied. Sometimes people can be in a battle with themselves when making an important decision, or any decision for that matter. For example, if someone is stressed with school and has to accomplish many things, fractionation can be used to divide the conflicts by the different classes they are in. Framing and reframing can be used to seek help and guidance in other peers. Finally common ground can be used as having an “I can do it” attitude and a positive outlook. These techniques can be applied to many different situations. 

Week 4 - Post 1

            Communication majors would make amazing mediators simply because we know and understand all the ins and outs of how to communication with people. Throughout all of the communication courses I have taken, I know how to handle a variety or different situations, such as conflict, different cultures, and listening. Also, this major teaches us how to react in certain situations, and the specifics of nonverbal and verbal communication. Throughout all of the communication courses we take, we are fully preparing ourselves to analyze and understand what people say to us and to others. We are basically taught to understand why and how different people say things. Lawyers are taught to fight for a specific side and psychotherapists are taught to show people the effects of a problem. Neither of those professions are taught to understand two sides to a story and then create a compromise, which makes it difficult for both lawyers and psychotherapists to effectively play the role of a mediator.