I am
a very stubborn person and would rather not have change, so I usually take a
non-process view of relationships rather than communication or conflict. I tend
to see people as unchanging. For example, if I see someone being extremely rude
to another person, I will automatically assume that they typically rude to
people, even if they are just teasing. I just decide that that is just their
personality and if I do not like it, I won’t surround myself with the person. Although
it would take a while for me to learn how to change my thinking, I think that
it would take time for me to be able to give multiple chances out to others so
I could better understand them. Non-process views are very pessimistic ways of
thinking but I think that with practice, I would be able to see people as
changing as opposed to unchanging.
Hey California Girl,
ReplyDeleteNon-process views on relationships are definitely something that is commonplace in our society. Naturally, when we see someone act a certain way we assume they always act that way. Like many say, first impressions mean everything. I will not deny I tend to think this way sometimes, just like you, however I try to take the time and give people chances. I try to see things in a process view, but it isn't always easy. Changing the way we think is never going to be easy. Technically, that is like seeing ourselves in a process view, and many times we see ourselves as matured and grown. Yet there’s always room for improvement right?
I agree with your assessment that non-process views are pessimistic. If we see someone as bad and unchanging, then we don't give them the chance to be good, which is very pessimistic in itself. Good assessment of this chapter.
-J.D.
Hi California girl,
ReplyDeleteI find myself relating to you a lot on the “stubborn” page. I feel like it’s also judging people and not giving second chances, which it looks like is something we can both work on. I like that the non-process views are pessimistic, because it makes me see the other side to things. Simply, through the chapter on conflict I have realized that instead of assuming people wont change, I should take their or our conflict as a way to get to know that person better, or to resolve that conflict. I do think that people can change, but each case is different. Some people are set in their ways! Hopefully we can both learn a little something than from this class.